My Funny Valentines

Seeing as I'm a single gal this Valentine's Day, it might seem the norm to some to be a bitter lass, but I'm not headed that route. Happily alone, I'll be spending my Valentine's Day pining after boys I'm completely aware I'll never have ... that is unless I were a time traveler.

So with that, I present the men I'd hop in the Delorean for.


(Row by row, left to right)
Cat Stevens. Oh Cat, your curly hair, your scruffy beard, your wonderful songs of peace and love and of course, the Harold and Maude soundtrack, be still my heart. I know you've since changed your name, but you'll always be 'Cat' to me.

Jonathan Richman, frontman for the Modern Lovers and singer of songs silly and unsilly alike. Striped shirt fan. Soulmate.

Bobby Dylan. I don't think I have to say anything here.

Syd Barrett. You took enough acid to fry the brain of a blue whale, but you fronted Pink Floyd in their seedling days and looked dapper while doing so. And you've got a bike, and I can ride it if I like. So thank you.

R.I.P. you crazy diamond.



Jean-Paul Belmondo. Thick head of hair and the body of a boxer. Let's head for the Mediterranean in a stolen car. Sincerely, me.

Leonard Cohen. Genius. Brilliant showman. Writer of one of my favourite books and many of my favourite songs. Meet me at the Chelsea.

Steve McQueen. You were a daffy, charming brute in Love With the Proper Stranger, and you look good in various states of undress. Hi.

Joe Strummer. Rebellious King of my heart since the age of 11. I cried when you died. I'm sure you're up there, still writing the best jams.

Bruce Springsteen. You said to "wrap my legs 'round those velvet rims and
strap my hands 'cross your engines" in "Born To Run". I said, "sure".

Dustin Hoffman a.k.a. Benjamin Braddock. So neurotic, so charming, even Anne Bancroft wanted you. And she was a hot cougar. And you aren't even tall.



So who are your imaginary Valentines for this Sunday "holiday"? I'm going to spend mine with these 10 boys ... IN MY DREAMS.

In reality, I just want some cupcakes.

So, in the words of Liz Lemon, "happy Valentine's Day no one!"


xo Hannah

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